Today is another Friday. The first Friday in a while where I feel calm. It’s overcast and sometimes that can make mom anxious, but today, she is peaceful. I am so thankful for moments of peace these days. Moments where coffee can be enjoyed. Lists can be made and checked off. Silence can be experienced and appreciated. Dogs can be spoiled and blogs can be written!
On Fridays, I, like so many others, look forward to linking up with writers all over the place for Five Minute Friday over at Kate Motaung’s Heading Home. She gives us a one-word prompt and we write. Just write. For 5 minutes. It is strangely exhilarating and freeing and energizing. And on this calm, overcast Friday, I am ready to write…
…how interesting that today’s prompt is READY!
I thought I was READY. We had talked it over. I had a picture in my mind. We READIED a room. We arranged a truck. We made all the necessary arrangements. We were READY.
Or at least we thought we were. Alzheimer’s has a way of cutting you off at the knees. It does everything in it’s power to show you just how NOT READY you are.
Alzheimer’s from far away – movies, books, acquaintances – is odd. It’s funny at times. And a little scary because it’s so hard to really understand.
Alzheimer’s from 1000 feet – a family member or parent of a good friend or former teacher that you see occasionally – is “Really?” Because that’s what you are secretly thinking. That can’t be real? Are they trying to get away with something? How stupid do they think I am? Is that what my mom called ‘senile’? Or a ‘senior moment’?
Alzheimer’s in your dining room is AWFUL. AND UGLY. AND UNBELIEVABLE. AND SOUL SUCKING, GUT WRENCHING AND HEART BREAKING. And there is no way to be READY for it.
The things that happen. That you experience. That you have to deal with. The new lessons and tips and tricks that you need to learn or improvise or make up on the fly. The questions you get asked and the conversations you find yourself in the middle of. The strange and unexpected trip into Alzheimer’s World. How are you supposed to get READY for that?
Don’t ask me – I have no idea!
Because I thought I was READY.
I guess you can never be ready for something completely new. For something so few of us ever get to see up-close and personal. For something that has been kept in the dark for so many years.
But God knew I was READY. Maybe not for Alzheimer’s in my dining room. But READY to care for my mom. READY to make our home her home. READY to train up my children in what it means to be selfless and kind and gentle. READY to find humor and beauty in awful circumstances.
I’m so glad He’s got me. He’s got my family. And I’m sure, my mom.
So, even though you can never really be READY in the way my human heart and mind like to be prepared. God can lift you up to handle anything.